


Borderline Ben Solo

by luxvader



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: BPD, Ben Solo has BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Gen, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 17:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20933699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxvader/pseuds/luxvader
Summary: This fic is based off of my headcanon of Ben Solo/Kylo Ren having Borderline Personality Disorder. Each chapter will be a short one-shot based off of each of the 9 symptoms of BPD. For more research on BPD please visit:https://themighty.com/topic/borderline-personality-disorder/https://themighty.com/2019/03/facts-about-life-with-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd/Idea inspired by thefatalfetus on Ao3





	Borderline Ben Solo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Borderline Kylo Ren](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601957) by [thefatalfetus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefatalfetus/pseuds/thefatalfetus). 

"Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away." (helpguide./org)

“Please…mom, please don’t make me go…” 

“Ben, let go of my arm.” Leia looked at her son, a mix of pity and frustration in her eyes. She felt sorry for Ben, knowing that the last thing he wanted to do was leave for Luke’s academy. 

“Mom, please. Please, I can’t go. I don’t want to.” Ben looked at her with wide, anxious brown eyes; eyes so similar to her own. 

“Ben, stop pestering your mother. Our decision is final.” Han said with a sternness in his gruff voice. 

Ben sneered at his father, hot fury bubbling under his flushed face. If only he knew what it was like- what it felt like to be thrown away by your parents. Parents who couldn’t handle you. Parents who shipped you off to the nearest relative when things got bad. He felt like crying. He couldn’t help that he was struggling- he couldn’t help the darkness that was growing within him. 

The falcon started its descendent towards the academy, the sound of the motors drowning out Ben’s intrusive thoughts. He stared out a window, tears starting to well up in his eyes. 

“Ben,” Leia laid a hand on his trembling shoulder. “We’re here.”

Ben looked up at his mom, immediately beginning his pleading once more. “Please don’t make me mom, please don’t. I’ll be good I swear. I know I haven’t been the best son, I-“

Leia cut him off. “Sweetheart, it’s not about being good enough. You’re more than enough to us, but we can’t help you. I’m so sorry…I wish I could. Truly. That’s what your uncle is for.”

“Fuck Uncle Luke!” Ben shouted. “I hate him, and I hate you, and I hate dad! How could you do this to me. How could you fucking leave me like this?” 

Leia immediately removed her hand from Ben’s shoulder, shocked at his inflammatory words. Her soft smile quickly turned from sadness to anger. 

“Ben Solo, I will not be talked to like that. There’s no further discussion. We’re here, and this is where you’re going to be staying.” 

Ben dropped to his knees, his long, dark curls covering his pale face. He was visibly shaking- his body trembling like a dying autumn leaf. He felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn’t handle this. He felt like dying, like all the air was being sucked out his lungs, rendering him weak and helpless. Fat tear droplets splashed onto his tunic, staining the coarse fabric. Han walked over to Ben, grabbing his elbow. “Time to get up, Ben. We have to go.” He led his son to the door of the falcon, Leia walking behind them. 

The door opened , revealing a grassy plain with small, homey huts in the distance and a temple with golden spires in the middle- Luke’s temple.Ben shuddered, dreading what was about to happen. 

_I don’t want to be here. I want to be home. I want my family. _

Leia went to hug her son, to say her goodbyes, not knowing the next time she would see him. “Don’t fucking touch me.” He snarled, wincing as her hand brushed his arm. His words were full of venom and anger, but his eyes told a different story- they were full of despair. He was a wounded animal, cornered with no way to escape. Leia went silent, putting her hand down. She hoped her son wouldn’t hate her forever. 

“This is for the best.” She said softly.

“What’s for the best, huh? Leaving me to rot. Leaving me here at the hands of a relative I’ve only met once?” Ben was shaking with rage, tears forming at the corner of his eyes again. 

“Ben-“ Han began.

“Don’t do that, Dad.” Ben said, contempt oozing from every word. “You’ve never been here for me. You always left. Always flying away to god knows where in your precious spaceship. I fucking needed you dad, and you were never here.” Ben turned to his mother. “I still need you both. Please…” 

At this point, Ben was standing on the tall grasses of the foreign planet, having walked down from the ramp with his parents. They began to walk back up, and Ben started to follow.

“Ben, no.” Leia said, turning to her son, but he wouldn’t listen. He was almost to the ramp when his body suddenly froze in place. He looked up, his head the only thing that could move. His mom’s arm was outstretched, she was using the force to keep him in place. He could see her eyes shining from the tears that were forming.

“Mom…” Ben’s voice was soft, whimpering. “Mom…” Leia went up the ramp, Han already in the cockpit. He could hear the engines starting. The gust of wind that was starting up as the propellors began to lift the spacecraft into the sky. As soon as the falcon lifted off from the ground, the spell was released and Ben fell to his knees. They left…they actually left him. Abandoned him. He let out a primal scream, hot angry tears streaming down his face, snot dripping down to his chin. Why didn’t they love him enough?

Back on the ship, Leia trembled, feeling a surge of anger and betrayal rip through the bond she had with her son. He hated her, he hated Han. He hated that he still loved Leia and Han even after they had abandoned him.


End file.
